Love does not consist of gazing at each other
But in looking together in the same direction.

-  Antoine de Saint Exupery

Bobbi and Me

Chapter II Part 3: Questions and Answers

© D. Erick Emert

Holy wonnernaus, Batman! Had I been drinking a soda, it would have been spritzed over both of us.  My immediate reaction was to think…well, I didn’t know what to think.  Looking into her stoic expression, I noticed that as soon as she asked the question, she bit her lower lip.

My gaze fell to my fingers, which busily created an opening and closing steeple.  I took a d-e-e-p breath and raised my eyes to meet hers again.  The longer I sat silent, Bobbi’s face took on the look of deep concern.  I realized the worst thing I could do at this point was to allow her query to go unanswered.

“Um, I’m no authority on love, Bobbi.  I know my mother and father love each other.  I know you can’t trust TV or the movies – they’re gnarly.  What I do know is this…”

I crossed my legs at the ankles and tried to sit up straight.  She looked intent, hanging on my words.  This did nothing to help my composure.

“I haven’t been scheming you, Bobbi.  Seventh grade might have been some kind of puppy love that grew into an infatuation by ninth grade.  But those feelings are often short-lived and usually don’t stick.  But sometimes they transform into something deep, sincere, real. My feelings for you – they’ve always been strong and protective; even though I buried them inside.  Look, please don’t think I can’t cop to saying I love you?”

“I wasn’t sure.  That’s why I asked.”

“I do love you, Bobbi.  I have for a very long time.  I know it’s not a full-grown love yet.  But it’s still maturing.  The longer we’re together, the deeper it will grow.”  My words came too fast again and my palms started sweating.  “I’ve never looked at my love for you as having just started out today.  Face it.  It’s been almost six years since we met.”

Then something else I hadn’t expected happened.  This cute, intelligent, artistically talented young lady I’d kept on a pedestal for so long began to melt into a pool of black curly-haired emotion right on the front seat of my mother’s car.

Her eyes filled with tears.  She lowered her head, reaching for her purse from which she grabbed a hand full of tissues.  She swung her feet behind her as she dropped herself into my lap.  She buried her quiet, tear-streaked face into my chest.  I didn’t know what I should do, so I just put my arms around her and held her close.

How did this happen, I thought.  God, we’re alone together for all of five minutes and I made her cry. Think, Treme.  What was in her mind when she asked me that question?  Did I answer the way she wanted me to, or not? I could feel myself starting to shake a little.  I hoped she didn’t feel it.

After a few minutes of silent tears and feeling her breathing turn normal, I ventured a question.  “Did I say something wrong?”

Bobbi pushed herself up into a sitting position on the seat.  She dabbed at her eyes with her tissues and, looking over her left shoulder at me, she presented a half smile.

“No, Dick.  You said nothing wrong.  Sometimes I know something, but I don’t know I know it.  You know?  I mean…I really knew you loved me, but until I just heard you say it, I didn’t REALLY believe it to be possible.  And because I didn’t really know, I had a hard time being copasetic with my own feelings for you.  See?”

“I think so.”  I laughed.  “What a pair we are!”

Then came that big Bobbi smile I love so much.  “I guess I’ve loved you all these years too,” she said.  “My mother told me I did.”

Remember those big old ‘test your strength’ games they used to have at carnivals?  You hit the center of the base with a mallet and a round weight ran up a pole. If you hit the base board just right and hard enough, the weight rang the bell at the top.  Well, Bobbi’s words rang my bell. She couldn’t have hit it better.

Before I could say anything in response, she fell back on me and our lips met for the very first time.  Don’t get the wrong idea.  It wasn’t one of those twenty-first century TV or Hollywood type kisses where they almost chew each other’s lips off.  Although it was passionate enough to us, it was a 60s, small-town, teen kiss that lasted maybe five or ten seconds, although it seemed much longer.  Had we been born a few centuries earlier, I would have shouted, “Huzzah!”

As Bobbi sat back up with her legs crossed again, I was still wiggin’ out.  Who knows, maybe my eyes were closed.  Whatever the case, she started laughing.  That brought me around.

“Hey, Cool Head,” she said.

“Hey, Kewpie Doll,” I replied.

She asked, “Tell me, what attracted you to me so long ago?”

“That’s easier than your last question.”  I couldn’t let go of my smile.

She squirmed.  “Yeah, the last one was kind of outta sight.”

“Okay.  I’ll tell you the story, as if you don’t already know it.”

“I know parts of it, of course.  But not the nifty stuff you kept inside all these years.”

“You remember the bus trip to Philadelphia in seventh grade?”

“Of course I do.  It was a school sponsored trip to the Met in Philly.  Ormandy and the Philadelphia Orchestra gave a kids concert and Mary Scott and I signed up to go.  You and Jim Falls sat right behind us on the ride down and the trip back.”

“That’s right.  I first noticed you on that trip to Philly.  It wasn’t your clothing.  It wasn’t your hair, which truly blows me away now.”

Bobbi blushed when my gaze trailed to her hair.

“It wasn’t the fact that both you and Mary were cute.  It was your eyes, your smile, and your friendly chitchat together that captured my attention.”

“My talking with Mary?”

“Yeah.  You two were such close girlfriends.  It was obvious you grew up together.  I’m an only child.  No sisters.  My family is mostly male – only one female cousin, at least my own age, but I hardly know her.  My father had three brothers, for example.  When we moved to Quaker Valley, there were no girls my age in the neighborhood.  Only two boys.  I’d never heard anything like you and Mary.  Such a funky conversation, with all those whispers and giggles.”

“So why me and not Mary?”

“I couldn’t get over your smile – the way it lit up your whole face.  I never saw anything like it.  It’s still unique.  Your face lights up like an exploding star when you smile.”

“Oh, come on.”  She laughed and her cheeks flushed at the same time.

“I’m serious. Which brings me back to my original question.  What happened to that wide smile over the past few years?”

“It’s been rough for me since Mary and her family moved away after eighth grade.  I made many acquaintances over the years, but no friend like Mary.  I guess it had an effect on my happiness that I didn’t notice.”

Bobbi changed directions again.

“I remember the concert and how I sat beside you until intermission.  Then Mary and I moved a few seats down from you.  There was an open seat beside me and Jim Falls yelled at you to come sit there but you stayed in your original seat.”

“Yeah, he embarrassed me.”

“I know, I saw you blush.  I thought it was cute.”  Bobbi giggled a bit.

“At least he told me your name,” I said.  Later I found out he was in your homeroom.”

“Yes, he was.  But how did you get my phone number?  I’m sure he didn’t know that.”

“True enough.  Before class started on Monday, I went into the office and looked you up on the schedule boards.  I copied down your name, address, phone number, and class schedule.  That’s how I was able to pass you so often in the hall.”

“You did the same thing every year after that, didn’t you?”

I nodded.  “Yeah, I copied your class schedule.  And I suppose you never did that?”

“Not telling.”

I rolled my eyes.  “Girls!”  We both laughed.  “On the way back to Quaker Valley, you two had your seat light on and kept chattering.  Jim fell asleep but I passed the time watching and listening to the two of you.  And I noticed you snuck a peek back at me from time to time.”

“Yes.  I admit that.  I was fascinated that someone could be so jazzed over me.  Most boys, especially from Woodcock, thought I had cooties.”

“Well they certainly don’t think that anymore.”  We both had perpetual smiles on our faces now.  It was difficult to be serious.